The Mixer Sport

The Mixer at Elections

The Mixer is happy to be the mouthpiece of the regime. It is our sole purpose to spout the carefully engineered propaganda put forward by the Asfahani administration (Thumbnail credit Be my Guest: Pure bromance as Guessfahani smile for the cameras. Photo: Peter Iveson)

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The perfect couple (of years for Asfahani)

The Mixer is happy to be the mouthpiece of the regime. It is our sole purpose to spout the carefully engineered propaganda put forward by the Asfahani administration.

Our pages have often heralded the unalloyed success of the glorious leader. Reports about 3G pitches? That was us. A new sports centre? That was us too. The fact that satisfaction was up by 35% after a decision to abolish dissatisfaction? Anything you say, Mr President Sir.

But TM has had enough. We are sick and tired of not being sick and tired with a certain York Sport Supremo. Why can't we be given subjects to rant and rave about? That is why we have decided to make a stand.

Published adjacent to these words is a compromising picture of The Leader of People's Rupublic of the 22 acres. He may have started the popular uprising and taken us from under the yoke of our capitalist, imperialist masters but he isn't immune to some tabloid style scandal.

We found this image of him with an unidentified brunette stunner, rumoured to be a member of his cabinet. The Leader himself preaches a gospel of abstinence so what he is indulging in with the mystery lovely, one can only guess.

So now we've set out stall out. It's all change at Nouse Towers. No more pandering, the revolution is here. We'll take to Market Square for 14 days if we have to.

Overheard at elections

TM: Well done on your win
Successful candidate: Oh, sorry do I know you?
TM: Well, no, I write for Nouse sports
Successful candidate: Oh, ok, thanks.

Ouch. Very ouch.

Moment of the week

Another win for men's rugby firsts, away at Sheffield, carried on a fine run of form. They face leaders Manchester this weekend with such a long injury list that Brian Cantor will line up at blind-side with Jane Grenville at full-back.

Lowpoint of the week

The referee in the men's firsts football against Hull was surely Mark Clattenburg in disguise. Not content with ruining Premier League matches he's stooped to BUCS matches as well. He tried to book a spectator for crying out loud...

Photo: BBC

Weir all in this together

It was once said that football is a gentleman's game played by thugs while rugby is a thug's game played by gentlemen. UYRUFC captain Tom Weir did nothing to dispell that theory as he appeared on BBC's Mastermind last week, answering questions on Orde Wingate and the Chindits.

TM was quite taken aback as Tom went head-to-head with John Humphrys, his every facial expression betraying his true emotion. One particular highlight was the skipper's knowing smile when asked which Premiership Rugby Union side were nicknamed the Tigers. No worries on that one.

One could forgive Weir for not winning, his side face a fixture pile-up that makes the chaos in the Middle East look merely inconvenient.

Sportsmen do like to show off their intelligent side, footballers Neil MacKenzie and Clarke Carlisle appeared on Countdown while the latter also made an appearance on Question Time, facing up against the likes of Alastair Campbell and Vince Cable.

Let's see the reverse happening now please, forget Strictly Come Dancing, next Christmas let's have Strictly Come Rucking. Weir can use his TV experience to good effect to host alongside Gabby Logan as Gino D'Acampo, Anne Diamond, Matt Goss, a dick from Big Brother and Josie D'arby pack down against messrs Cox, Hartley, Sheridan and co. TM would rather watch that than most of the shit served up these days.

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